"figuring it out" never stops
i spent a great deal of thinking on how to tag this. musing? or prose? i try to separate the two as a means to allow the flow of fictionalized recollections to run free in prose, or to be more conversational in musing. but see, storytelling runs in my family. if i'm recounting my day or a specific point in time, it's going to come out poetic, a narrative that paints a visual for the listener. i can't help what's in my bones.
maybe this can be a bit of both. the tone so far is that of a musing, more grounded in reality, real-time. and so, in real-time, i decided this is a #musing post.
i'm in my 30s with a college degree and i don't have much to show for it besides a diploma. i have a writing degree, essentially. a friend of mine in the industry told me that my degree's good if i got front-end coding expertise on top of a portfolio. i didn't know this until after i graduated. nice.
say i even get something writing related. AI is rendering my work obsolete. what to do? i can't use this blog as a portfolio since i'm out, and would rather not because (here's where i gesture abstractly to the current sociopolitical climate). a conundrum but, i do know i am writer and still will be regardless of doing freelance or full time work. i know my writing will take me places. i don't know when or how, but i woke up feeling confident in this.
i've been thinking on this post since i drafted it. i've had many thoughts since then, about where i'd like to be, about where i could be, about what's feasible. i think about the friendships that are drifting, the ones that are unwavering, and the ones that are budding. i think about what's in my control and if control is even that important.
i think i have it figured out until i don't. "figuring it out" never stops--if it did, then life would be quite boring.