my varnished soapbox

i watched the gay bdsm biker movie so you don't have to (and other film reviews)

Just in time for pride month, wow. [canned studio laughter]

I'll admit, this one took longer to write because it's longer than my usual film reviews. In the past, even before this blog, I'd just do short reviews. I've had this sitting in my drafts because it became more than just reviews and sort of thoughts, sort of analyses.

The initial draft was more joke-y and feral but I started fleshing the review out and pruning sentences and, gah. Writer's block or writer's fatigue. I shelved the draft, but I'm back. And hey, it makes sense to have any thoughts weave into a film's impression onto me.

As always, spoilers ahead.

one battle after another (2025), dir. paul thomas anderson

★ ★ ★ ★

I've never seen a man so attractive that I'd think, "they're so hot i'm going to throw up." I typically have this reaction exclusively with women, I'd say, and Teyana Taylor is one of them. But that's not what my review is about, even though I was looking respectfully through the first 10 minutes of the film.

Anyways, actual review time. I think it was an interesting choice to name Taylor's character "Perfidia Beverly Bills." Perfidia can translate to "perfidy" or "treachery" in English. And Beverly Hills was a nod to the fantastic yet transient nature of film, or Hollywood, itself. It was very intentional to name her this.

Perfidia gets lost in activism fatigue and ultimately dips when she's plunged into motherhood, essentially doing a 180. I was curious about where her trajectory would go until, well, yeah, she lived up to her name. Solid trajectory, though I would've liked to see her character more.

The phone scene with Bob reminded me of Punch-Drunk Love and I thought "ah yes, now I see where this is going." By that, I mean Anderson's style really started to poke through here. He likes to latch onto a feeling of urgency (Punch-Drunk's phone calls, One Battle with trying to get a phone to work, funnily enough).

Speaking of, kind of, the carpet unfolding over Benicia Del Toro in that one part was very Wes Anderson even. Seeing as Del Toro worked with both directors, it felt like a neat dialogue between both films. He (Paul Thomas Anderson) does like color grading (Punch-Drunk being more blue, One Battle being warmer-toned), which is honestly a godsend. Cinema needs more color! More flavor!

It was cool seeing Junglepussy get some screen time. I've been following her since the "Pregnant with Success" days, so it's kinda surreal to see someone cool as hell get recognition. I would've liked for her and Regina Hall and Del Toro to have gotten more screen time, but alas...

As I write this, though, I remembered the film was long. Not in a dragging, "oh god when is this over" way. More like in a "the passage of time falling into itself under a desert's sweltering heat" kind of way. Shoutout to the outdoor winding road desert scenes, too, those were pleasing to watch.

Oh, and Sean Penn still has a punchable face. Lockjaw's anticlimactic death was funny. "Semen demon" is an absurdly tickling turn of phrase.

Detention centers as a backdrop was an intentional nuance that I was sorta like... I can't think of the word. The feeling of this being a "close to home" thing. I watched this whilst ICE agents were spotted throughout the country, my city, and as close as my own neighborhood. The raids were cooling down when I watched this for the first time. It's all unnerving, wondering if I'll get a call about a loved one getting detained. Meanwhile, I thought I could watch something to not think of present circumstances, but sometimes film is meant to provoke.

That said, this was a solid film. I would rewatch it down the line. This film feels chockfull of nuances I can't pick up in one watch.

one battle after another (2025)

pillion (2025), dir. harry lighton

★ ★ ★ ½

Harry Melling is Colin, a shy, gay man. Alexander Skarsgård is Ray, the hot and enigmatic biker guy, who is also gay. Mix in A24 sentimentalities and some leather and boom, you get a BDSM romcom that somehow makes sense. I didn't think I'd see a Dom/sub-centered major motion picture in 2026 but here we are. And the "Skarsgård is Hot" agenda is alive and well, trying to convince me, still (Conclusion: I kind of get it now, but I think the motorcycle is just making him seem that way.).

I do think the D/s dynamic worked in bringing out the best and worst of both characters. I thought of Frank Ocean saying, "he don't care for me, but he cares for me, and that’s good enough." Colin bends over backwards (literally) for Ray and it's not totally what Colin wants but he's willing to take any crumbs.

Whether in kink or queer spaces, seemingly small pools of potential partners make it easy to latch onto the next "good thing" that comes along. Being in both spaces can be a recipe for disappointment if expectations aren't realistic and if one doesn't know what they want and aren't afraid to assert it. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case for Colin. He took what he could get but it was still missing something. Better than being alone, though, right?

I would’ve liked more exposition on Skarsgård's character but I think that was the point. His nonchalance made the audience beg for glimpses past the aloof biker exterior. His home was hardly a home: minimal decor, no permanent fixtures, not lived in. He was hardly there, too, always on the go. Something like a deeper connection with Colin is too grounded, too committal (despite D/s dynamics being literally that? I guess, bro...).

A tough lesson for Colin was that sometimes people show you who they are then and there and you gotta accept that they can't be who you need them to be. And, sometimes it scares the other person that they can't be what you need, or don't want to be. Ray just decides to ghost and that's that, despite Colin's increasingly assertive efforts. Actions speak, or bellow.

Colin at least has a better sense of boundaries with new guy, post-Ray. From what I understand, BDSM is more boundaries-driven, so very much knowing thyself more intuitively and honing communication skills. Things are looking up for him, and he couldn't have gotten there without getting to know himself in the ways that matter.

And I know it's bare minimum, but it's such a relief to see a queer film not end in a gut-wrenching tragedy. The takeaway has hope.

pillion (2025)

monkey man (2024), dir. dev patel

★ ★ ★ ★ ½

Okay, I lied. Dev Patel is definitely a guy that would make me want to puke at point of eye contact. (Dev if you're reading this, this is not true haha i'm also free this Thursday) That said! I've been following his filmography more or less since Skins. I went into this with no other context other than Dev starred in it. No trailers; I just vaguely remember some blog post mentioning how he's been on a good film run and this title was at the top of a list of recent works of his.

I took notes in my notes app in real time when watching the film. I thought of expanding on each point but that would need its own post! I foresee thousand word count if I did!

These are what I wrote down, though. I think they sum up my thoughts on the film pretty well:

If my notes tell me anything, it's that this director loves movies! The references! Cinematography! Social commentary! Comedic timing! Fan service! It has it all! It's such an ambitious directorial debut. I'd watch this again.

monkey man (2024)

#film