"venado" means "deer" in spanish
And "fresa" means "strawberry." I like strawberries; that’s why it’s my favicon there. "Deer" was a nickname I had for a bit. I think deer are cool, too. They are divine messengers in various cultures. Deer are the only animals I know of that appear to glide in the air as they run.
"Venado" is one of the first Spanish words I recall learning. I learned most words early on from lotería cards. The illustrations help them function as flashcards (even if some of the subject matter is not exactly child-appropriate; looking at you, "El Borracho.")
Although, I'm not as fluent as I think I should be.
According to a Spanish placement test I took in undergrad, I was considered a "heritage speaker." That meant that Spanish was spoken enough in my household for me to grasp the language more easily.
I am still plagued by this… imposter syndrome of sorts. I feel like I should already know Spanish. It's one thing if I grew up in an Americanized home, but it was spoken enough around me, just not to me. It was spoken enough for Spanish class to feel like a breeze, at least. But when someone speaks to me in Spanish, I'm suddenly in a lucid dream, being able to understand what’s being spoken to me while being unable to respond back. Words don’t come out, just a small wheeze of air.
I don't feel a disconnect with my own Mexican heritage. I'm still Mexican regardless of my fluency. Yet, I feel like I'm missing out on the nuances Spanish has to offer. So much gets lost in translation. There's more than several ways to express love and hunger, describing temperature and temporality. Innocuous verbs in English don't always have a one-to-one equivalent in Spanish. English is kind of flat in comparison.
I have been practicing conversational Spanish with my friends who are bilingual. They say I've gotten better whenever I ask. This means a lot since I get so focused on grammar when I do study Spanish, and I end up burnt out trying to be perfect every time I speak.
Time. It feels like I don't have enough time to study lately. There isn't a rush, though, in spite of an urgency that insists on the contrary. Note to self: language learning is a muscle and my progress won't disappear if life gets in the way sometimes, to my own chagrin.