RE: happy birthday (soon)
My birthday came and went. It felt like another day this year, a feeling I haven't had for a birthday in quite a while.
I started my birthday losing a bracelet that I've owned throughout several relationships, address changes, job shifts, and even with feet planted in international postal codes. Obsidian--volcanic glass thought to protect against negative energy (it also just looked cool, which is why I got it). I bought the bracelet during a strange, transitional period, and it was a constant I could look to in spite of treacherous waters.
The seemingly frail rubber bands were unwavering. This was grounding when I needed it most. The bracelet became a signature accessory, and then it was gone seemingly overnight. I did go out the night before, had some brews and laughs, went home, then slept in. I still don't know what could've happened between that night and the morning after. I joked to one friend that it was because someone was plotting my downfall. Maybe so... it wasn't exactly my day from there.
I experienced a series of letdowns from people who made promises they ultimately didn't keep--compounding L's--ones that snowballed until I spent much of daylight avoiding my phone, unsure how to react. Out of all days, this had to happen on my birthday? I guess, bro...
Yes, I did receive birthday texts from people who knew without a story post to remind them (shoutout to y’all). I just let myself be sad about the disappointments first to get that out of my system. I thought aloud about replacing the bracelet with a dupe but, through confidantes, I was met with versions of, “Maybe it's a sign to close that chapter of your life.”
I decided from sundown on that I had to make the best of what day I had left. I bought a late lunch and, later on, drinks with my own money. I dressed up for a Halloween event at a bar I like. I danced within a drove of enthused freaks of the night. I had some decent 2AM General Tso’s tofu too close it all out. Happy birthday to me.
Heading out again. Some days aren't winners but those days end up passing anyways.